I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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