M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Be still, my beating vagina.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
