I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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