scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
