did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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