I am in a vortex of obligation.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
