So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize