I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize