Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
