I just threw up on my dentist
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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