Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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