He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
