I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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