Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
