girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
