i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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