its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
