We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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