the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
