Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
