Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
