PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
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You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad