On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it glows. i had to have it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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im calling her cock vulture from now on
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.