The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you