Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off