So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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