Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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