ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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