First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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