I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize