doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
