you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
