shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
