I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
