do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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