we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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