So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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