oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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