so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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