I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize