I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
