You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize