i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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