so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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