so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
