the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my being single is dangerous.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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