My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
