Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
