okay pat passed out under dana's car
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
