I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
