remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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