operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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