I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
