umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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