im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
