I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
