Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
