mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
