I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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