How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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