sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
