I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
