dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I want to be your penis for a week.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
