It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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