I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
