So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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