I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Panties = found
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